Cookie's Wife--and other details

My mother spent the first 4 years of Dad's illness looking after him at home. I remember those years as being very difficult for her, and very hard on her. There were times when my dad would wander at night, and we would drive around looking for her. He would often stagger as if he was drunk, and this was embarrassing for her. Once he vomited grape juice in the kitchen and dining room. There was purple "throw up" on my math text book, and the walls were splattered. Our walls were covered in a green geometric-patterned wallpaper, and years later we would notice the odd speck of purple that wasn't properly washed off. I refused to use my math text, even though Mom cleaned it off. She went to my Grade Two teacher to explain and asked if we could exchange it for another copy. For all I know, she just told me it was switched; but, I believed it to be a new copy, and continued with my math homework.

Just a little side note here: I do not remember any teacher asking me how my dad was doing, or for that matter, how I was doing. Everyone pretended what was happening was normal, even though it was most definitely not normal.

The Doctor told my mother that when it got too much to look after Dad, he would have him admitted to hospital. The way I remember it: Dad woke up and tried to go to the bathroom. He fell and couldn't get up. Mom and my sister tried to move him, but couldn't. In the morning Mom phoned the Doctor; the Doctor sent for an ambulance; Mom got my sister and me ready for school; the ambulance drove passed us while we were walking to school; our dog, Suzy, was very upset, and sat in the window watching the ambulance take my father away. There was no lady with the alligator purse.

I can only imagine how difficult that morning was for my mom.

He never came home again.