Returning to the Old Journey - but Hopeful this Time

I really wish I was better at staying with fitness. . . but it seems like I always fall off the exercise wagon and lose my motivation to watch what I eat. Why is that? I have battled with my weight all of my life. . . well, maybe not when I was 4. I started losing weight in Grade 11, and found I didn't go about it in a healthy way. I had issues. I thought that if I lost weight my life would be great . . . but it doesn't really work that way.

Last August I turned 40, and I was motivated by a fellow staff member to lose 40 pounds in my 40th year. She was able to keep it off, and she looked great. I didn't know her when she was heavier, so I still can't imagine her being overweight. Anyhow, she inspired me. So, I decided to try too.

I lost 20 pounds with diet (weight watchers) and exercise, but this winter I gained 5 back. I'm so mad at myself. Joining the Biggest Loser/Winner is very exciting for me. I love the exercise, and the comradery that is building with the three other women in my group. Our trainer, Shirley, is a great motivator, and I'm thankful that I landed in her group!

I really hope I can continue on this journey without falling back to my old ways. I'm not finding the diet side of this equation easy these days - especially when I'm tired - I crave chocolate and cookies, and have to fight the urge daily (the chocolate wins a little too often for my liking.) Anyway, that is how I"m feeling today in my sleep-deprived state.

A few things that helped so far:

• Realizing that I don't want my tombstone to read: "Carol loved chocolate".
• Trying on clothes, and fitting into smaller sizes. I don't even buy right now, I just try.
• Donating my bigger sizes so it isn't so comfortable to regain.
• Realizing that I shouldn't wait for "someday" to start - I need to live it now.
• Running 5 K and loving it.

Okay, that's it for now.