Becoming a writer through the eyes of a 7 year old

Every day I check the mailbox with a little hope in my heart. Will today bring me a wonderful letter from a publisher? Will I be able to wave my letter in the air and hug my husband and my kids and say, "finally, I AM a WRITER!"

I locate my box number. I look at the sky, I want to remember what kind of a day it is - a nice Spring day, or a cold blustery wind - I turn the silver key, and find: a bill from the Bay, a Children's Hospital Lottery advertisement, and Dominoes Pizza coupons.

I turn to my family - they're waiting in the car, as we're on our way out for supper to celebrate my husband's book deal (he edited an education curriculum book) - my mouth is in a frown and I mock disappointment as I climb back in the vehicle.

"I wanted a book deal too!" I say in a put-on whiny voice.

Kieran says, "You know mom, if you don't get your book published, you can just print it out on our printer at home."

He is so sweet. They all are. I love my boys to the moon and back on a railroad track - to them, I already am a writer, I don't need a publisher to say that. God bless my kids, that's all I can say!

Past 10000

Have you ever heard of a Runner's High? Well, I've got a writer's high. I'm so excited about this novel, I am nearly bursting! It's a very personal story, and in order to tell it honestly and as truly as possible (the real bits), I am planning to use a pseudonym. Strange, isn't it? I've wanted my whole life to be published and to be a writer and make my family proud, and now I'm not even going to use my real name!

So, how does one go about choosing a new name? I've been brainstorming names that have meaning for me - and trying out a first name that is a little similar to my own. I don't want anything pretentious or glamorous, but one that seems a natural fit for me.

I'm open for suggestions - anyone see a perfect-fit name for me?

7000 words and adding

I've started on my Young Adult novel, and I'm quite excited about it. I'm writing when Aidan is napping, or in the evening when the boys are in bed.

I have to resist the urge to be too critical. This is a rough draft. It doesn't have to be perfect right now. Just keep writing. Things are rolling fairly well, so I must keep up with the momentum.

Just write.

Keep writing.

Just get it down.

This is the stage I'm at now. I'm hopeful.

Must Acquire Gumption

I am trying to prepare a few manuscripts for submission, I've researched publishers, and am writing cover letters. Soon, I will kiss my stories goodbye and send them out.

I look at the estimated time to hear back from publisher - 3-6 months, and think, "but I can't wait that long." Then I see it may take up to 2 years for the story to be actually published. What a slow, tedious process. Uggh! It makes me wonder if it's worth the effort. But then I think, "of course it is. If you're I writer, you have to jump through the hoops."

Who cares if it takes 2 years or 10. It's part of the process, and part of the walk I've decided to take. Must have courage. Must try.

Wish me luck.

The Energizer Mommy . . .

I have been giving it my all at the gym twice a week with a trainer and my little group. When I can, on the other days, I walk or run. I feel really wonderful after a workout - like I'm the Energizer Mommy, and I can keep going and going, and. . . okay, you get the picture.

Exercise is going well, it's the eating properly that I've been struggling with. I find it very difficult to make healthy food choices - especially when I'm tired. I was up until 4:00 AM on Tuesday, working on my assignment for class, and it took me a few days to recover from the lack of sleep. I guess I'm not 20 anymore! Last night I had to get out of the house, so I went to the Mall. I walked around Winners, looking at clothes (sometimes the thought of trying on clothes and seeing a smaller dress size is motivating for me!). So, there I was trying to get motivated to keep on track, and all I could think of was going to Starbucks to buy a gooey type of square. Something with chocolate and caramel. Maybe a cookie crust. Mmmn, yummy.

I tried to fight the temptation, really I did. . . but all I could think about was the gooey goodness, and I found myself riding down the escalator - floating single-mindedly towards that ultra rich bite that would take me out of the moment and leave me in a spa-like state. My mouth was watering. . . this moment was to die for!

I was getting closer, I could hear the cappucino machines. I could smell the dark roast coffee like a little cloud of heaven. My nose was in the air, and my feet were barely touching the tile floor. I was almost there. So close, so bloody close...

And then, I ran into Laura, one of my new workout buddies. There she was, in the shop right beside Starbucks. Ordering vegetable stir-fry.

Damn.

Away flew my dream of chocolate square elation!! I simply could not go in and order something sinful. Her very presence reminded me that I needed - I WANTED - to stay on track.

Oh, God, I almost hugged her. (Except that I don't know her very well, and wasn't sure if that would be oh, you know, weird.)

We exchanged pleasantries. I told her she saved me from baaaad stuff, man.

I left, went back up the escalator. I was feeling pretty darned good. No gooey chocolate/caramel/cookie-bottom added to my waste, I could go home with my head held high.

Then, as I got off the escalator I noticed the candy machines, and the little Reeses Pieces that I love.

I looked in my wallet, and low and behold, one quarter! It was meant to be - and I thought to myself, "self, go ahead. What's a quarters worth of candy going to do to you?" So, I squatted down. I put my quarter in the little slot. I turned the dial. I heard the plink, plink, plink as the candy was released into the little shute. I slowly lifted the little doorway. I let the orange and brown pieces of wonderfulness fall into my hand. I was just scooting the last few out of the shute and into my palm, when I noticed this man standing beside me.

"Hi."
"Hello there."
"Those look good."
"Yes, they do."
"If I give you a dime, can you give me a quarter so I can get some too?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, that was my last quarter."
"Could I have some, anyway? I really need some of those."
"Oh, okay, sure. I don't mind."

And, I poured them into his hand. All those yummy bits.

Now, here's my question - which guardian angel of mine nudged this man over to take my candy? Hmmn?

Returning to the Old Journey - but Hopeful this Time

I really wish I was better at staying with fitness. . . but it seems like I always fall off the exercise wagon and lose my motivation to watch what I eat. Why is that? I have battled with my weight all of my life. . . well, maybe not when I was 4. I started losing weight in Grade 11, and found I didn't go about it in a healthy way. I had issues. I thought that if I lost weight my life would be great . . . but it doesn't really work that way.

Last August I turned 40, and I was motivated by a fellow staff member to lose 40 pounds in my 40th year. She was able to keep it off, and she looked great. I didn't know her when she was heavier, so I still can't imagine her being overweight. Anyhow, she inspired me. So, I decided to try too.

I lost 20 pounds with diet (weight watchers) and exercise, but this winter I gained 5 back. I'm so mad at myself. Joining the Biggest Loser/Winner is very exciting for me. I love the exercise, and the comradery that is building with the three other women in my group. Our trainer, Shirley, is a great motivator, and I'm thankful that I landed in her group!

I really hope I can continue on this journey without falling back to my old ways. I'm not finding the diet side of this equation easy these days - especially when I'm tired - I crave chocolate and cookies, and have to fight the urge daily (the chocolate wins a little too often for my liking.) Anyway, that is how I"m feeling today in my sleep-deprived state.

A few things that helped so far:

• Realizing that I don't want my tombstone to read: "Carol loved chocolate".
• Trying on clothes, and fitting into smaller sizes. I don't even buy right now, I just try.
• Donating my bigger sizes so it isn't so comfortable to regain.
• Realizing that I shouldn't wait for "someday" to start - I need to live it now.
• Running 5 K and loving it.

Okay, that's it for now.

I've got Sneaky Plans and Clever Tricks....

OMG - have you ever read the Enormous Crocodile to a group of 3rd graders? It is one of the funniest books to share with kids - and I've completely fallen in love with it. I have the enormous crocodile's voice in my head right now as I write this blog post.

So, the question is, what are MY sneaky plans and clever tricks? I'm crossing the road with my stories. I'm contorting myself to do the job. I've started the Kids Fic Critique Group, and have been submitting stories for feedback. Next step - placing them in the envelope, and sending them off with a kiss. In the past, I've been exclusive with my submissions - but not any more. Nope. I'm going broader, baby, and I can't wait. Sneaky plans, clever tricks, and lots of stamps in this girls future. Also considering pseudonym's - because as much as my writing is about following my bliss - it's also about getting readers to pick my books off the shelf. I have a long, unpronounceable last name, and I'm afraid it will scare readers away. What's in a name anyway, right Dr. Seuss? Anyhow, I'm considering names that have meaning to me - I'm not going to go out there and grab a trendy name. I still have family values. I'm not selling out, yet. For now, I'm going to walk the walk and make it so.